Thursday, December 9
this is in response to ally's entry. trust me, that was one emotive entry. anyway.
hearts don't generate feelings. biologically. scientifically. and yes we all need science to understand certain stuff like why your veins are blue and why your heart pounds when you see your crush walk past [ haemoglobin and adrenaline respectively]. now i respect science a lot. like why people look fat underwater [refraction]. see we all need these words sometimes. and literature with a scientific twist is even more interesting. but there are some things even science cannot explain. feelings. to me, they are as important as knowing the maximum amount of carbon monoxide we can inhale safely.
feelings have always been considered rather human. how often do we accuse someone of being animalistic, unfeeling? but even animals have feelings. have you ever seen a dog cry? it breaks my heart. and oh there's another thing. that expression. heartbreaking. guess what. my heart's still in one piece [i think] but it honestly hurts. physically. whenever i see or hear anything especially beautiful or sad or just plain emotive. it feels like some giant is squeezing it hard in its fist. is that something science can explain? i'm curious to find out. why your heart hurts when it doesn't generate feelings and does nothing but pump. maybe it pumps harder when you're emotionally charged. but it doesn't feel like your heart's racing. just hurting. a lot. anyway back to feelings. i am of opinion that the brain generates them. thoughts and feelings are closely related, to me anyway. first reaction is purely emotion, then a second later the brain as we know it kicks in and all these thoughts come rushing in. but emotion comes first. feelings. i wonder if there is a specific part of our brain that controls our reactions. people tell us to be careful with our hearts. because it's the part that physically hurts when we're umm hurt. i guess. then again i never met anyone whose heart hurt physically too. strange. maybe when we say 'heart'.. we think of our hearts because that's the most important part of the body. technically. the brain's pretty useless when there's no life in it, and the heart is the strong bit of the body that pumps non-stop your entire life, bless the little thing. being brain dead is around the same as being dead altogether to me, but that's just me, no need for a lawsuit. to others.. well where there's life there's hope. therefore the heart is designated the organ to represent the unexplainable? i.e. the root of feelings, the source of love, the breakable strand of humanity.
the brain can be coldly cruel and almost deadly in its persistance.. it can press on, generating thoughts and processess and decisions. but the heart.. there's really no such thing as a black heart is there? organ wise, yup. but figuratively? black black heart. oh cold monster, what art thou? more frightening than a heartless person is one who used to have a heart.. and then chose to ignore it. the worst were sometimes the best. the one who chooses to close his heart off [villains are always he, to me] can always open it again.. to learn best how to hurt someone else. you've got to know where to strike to hit bull's eye. and you only know.. if you've been there. done that. if you're purely evil and heartless with no clue how others work.. chances are you're just going to be as evil as you like and not give a damn. but a person with a hardened heart who consciously goes all out to hurt another.. is dangerous. he understands others. he once had a heart. he can hit bull's eye. easily. and someone's heart, with all it's feelings will shatter. figuratively. literally, nothing happens to your body except maybe your hormones go wild and you either lose weight or gain it. i guess there are physical, bodily signs and symptoms. there definitely are for stress, which is felt. and subjective.
fortunately there is no way of really judging a person's feelings. seeing it in its entirety. there's so much mere words cannot begin to explain. and a picture.. a thousand words don't come close. people can guess, sometimes correctly, most of the time wrongly.. but who's to know.. only you. i'm so glad. telepathy would ruin us all. thoughts are shared. how do you share a feeling? words aren't enough. music crosses the boundaries of words.. but only if you react in exactly the same way to a certain piece. otherwise, it isn't feelings you're sharing, but an appreciation for music. my conclusion: i ramble like a deranged chipmunk when i've been having a constant headache for months and i'm reluctant to go to work in the morning.
it must've been love.
10:41 pm
xoxo
